Funeral Flowers: How to Choose the Right Flower Arrangement

Are you attending a funeral and not sure what flowers to bring? First, check to be sure that the family hasn't requested donations to a charity in lieu of flowers. If they have, it's good etiquette to follow the family's wishes.

If that's not the case though, there are still a few more things you'll need to know before deciding on the right funeral flowers. And they may be things you never even considered.

Choosing the Most Appropriate Funeral Flowers

Purchasing flowers for a funeral is not a matter of buying what catches your eye. First, there are certain flowers - terms of both color and type - that are more appropriate than others.

Your relationship with the deceased is also a factor. This will help you determine which sort of arrangement is expected and whether some personalizing is appropriate.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, there are different customs depending on the family's religion or ethnicity. You will want to be aware of these. We'll take a deeper look at these factors.

1. Understand Flower Colors and Meanings

A funeral is an emotional event. So it's a good idea to consider the impact that color will have on the attendants at the funeral.

The most popular choice of colors is white - which is not a color at all. But white is clean and inoffensive. It represents peace and reverence.

Blue flowers are another good choice, as they represent calm and comfort. Muted and gentle colors are generally the rule of thumb. Flowers that are light pink are also popular. Even very light yellow - especially when it borders on cream.

Bright yellow, on the other hand, is a color that symbolizes a fresh start. It's an appropriate color for sympathy flowers, but not for the actual funeral.

The one color you'll want to avoid - light or dark - is green. That's because green represents health and good fortune. It would not be appropriate.

Then you'll also want to consider the different types of flowers:

Lilies

This is the most popular choice for a funeral. Its beautiful white bloom symbolizes innocence and peace.

Roses

The rose is perfect for almost any occasion. As we said above, the color is important here. White roses are a good choice since they're considered the ultimate symbol of innocence, purity, and spirituality.

Orchids

Not a traditional flower for funerals, the delicate bloom of the orchid speaks of eternal love.

Carnations

Light pink carnations represent remembrance. White carnations symbolize innocence and purity.

Apple Blossom

Another flower that's not exactly traditional, the apple blossom which blooms in the spring is symbolic of better things to come.

Some other flowers that might be appropriate:

• Camelia - Gratitude
• Daisy - Innocence
• Fern - Sincerity
• Flowering Almonds - Hope
• Forget-me-nots - True love/Remembrance
• Heliotropes - Devotion/Faithfulness
• Ivy: Eternal Fidelity
• Lilies of the Valley - Return of Happiness
• Rosemary - Remembrance
• Snowdrop - Hope
• Veronica - Fidelity
• Violet - Faithfulness

In addition, certain flowers carry different messages depending on the culture. For example, chrysanthemums are especially valued in some Asian cultures.

2. What Is Your Relationship with the Deceased?

When choosing an arrangement of flowers to send, the types of arrangements are dependent on the familial proximity to the deceased.

If you're a part of the immediate family, then the primary choice is a casket spray or a wreath. But it's not unusual for members of the immediate family to pick out the table arrangements too.

You may also want to consider swags inside the casket lid, as well as heart-shaped arrangements.
If you're part of the extended family, your best bet is a standing spray or informal arrangement.

And if you're a close friend or colleague, you could send a spray, wreath, basket arrangement, or even a bouquet in a vase.

It's acceptable to send flowers directly to the funeral home or to the home of the family. Business associates can also have flowers delivered to the workplace of a bereaved family member.

3. Is There A Way to Personalize?

This may not be appropriate for everyone. And if you didn't know the deceased well, then this won't really apply.

But if you've lost a loved one to whom you were close, your choice of flower arrangement could serve as something of a tribute to them.

For example, if the s/he adored all things purple, then you may want to create a customized bouquet of all purple flowers.

If s/he was a huge fan of the outdoors, then tuck some wildflowers in with your arrangement.
You may also want to send a plant along with the flowers.

A plant can be planted outdoors by the family to honor their loved one. And a potted plant has symbolic meaning since it continues to live and grow.

Just be sure if you're sending a plant, it isn't a chore for the loved ones.

4. Respect Religious Beliefs

Considering the religious background of the deceased and their family is important. Of course, it's unlikely that you'll deeply offend a family by sending flowers. But it's still good practice.

For instance, it's never been customary in the Jewish faith to send any flowers. It is not forbidden though, and is becoming more commonplace among Reformed Jews. It should be noted that condolence flowers are not deemed necessary and you should not take flowers to a Jewish home sitting shiva.

There are no steadfast rules about flowers for Islamic funerals. Some people send them and some don't. Placing individual flowers on graves along with palm branches and other greenery is a much more common practice.

For a Hindu funeral, garlands are more common than full arrangements. You may want to ask the funeral home about the possibility of sending a garland instead.

In the Greek Orthodox tradition, most flowers are accepted. But white flowers are decidedly preferable.

And Buddhist funerals favor white or yellow flowers. In this case, it's important to note that red flowers are not acceptable.

Our Condolences to You

We hope that this guide to funeral flowers has eased some of the stress of this emotional time. And for more ideas, be sure to check out our selection of funeral and sympathy flowers. It might be the inspiration you need.